We’re about two weeks into the year, which means we’re right around the point where resolutions start to lose steam. Our snooze buttons start seeing a little more action, our gyms are a little less packed each day, our wait in the Starbucks drive-through gets a little longer again. There’s plenty of advice out there on resolutions, goal setting, and creating successful long-lasting habits, so I won’t delve into those right now (I’m hardly an expert, anyways).
But, as an adult human woman who has had access to “women’s interest” magazines (not to mention, the internet) for a couple decades now, I know how easy it is to fall into making “the usual” list. Eat better. Work out more. Lose weight. Save more money. Drink less coffee. Etcetera, etcetera.
Joe and I have been talking at length about SHOULDS lately, and these types of resolutions are exactly that. It’s not that we don’t want to do those things, but there’s also a lot of external influence to want to want to do those things. Case in point — a goal centered around self care starts with a desire to be more in-tune with yourself, and quickly turns into a regimented 12-step skincare routine that you have to power through for your own good (please, I just want to go to bed).
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Every single one of us is different. What energizes us, relaxes us, or fills our cup is different. And same goes for what feels out of alignment for us. I spent a long time feeling guilty that I wasn’t taking “enough” time off from the business, because I was told so often that I should give myself more breaks. I know the people who said that meant well, because they care about me, and they care about my wellbeing. And because of that, I would feel like I was letting them down by choosing to work more, or that there was something wrong with me because I not only couldn’t separate myself from my work (I was a one-woman-show for years, after all), but also because… I kind of didn’t want to?
As I write this, it is 9:36 PM on a Sunday. I’ve been on the couch, watching football games and working on website updates and blog posts for basically the whole day. And I know that, to a lot of people, that might seem like I’m leaning too much into hustle culture. Or that I’m not prioritizing my down time. Do I work through every weekend? No. Are my “self care days” sometimes just staying home on a weekday so I can watch TV while I do admin work and also fit a nap into the middle of the day? Absolutely.
Maybe this is how you like to go about your days as well. Maybe you prefer a more definitive separation between your work day and your relaxation time. Maybe you unwind by going out to socialize (note: this is absolutely NOT me). Again, we’re all so different. And I’m not here to tell you how to set your goals. Or what a self care day should look like for you. Or how many steps should be in your skincare routine. I’m just here to remind you that it doesn’t have to look a certain way. ♥
