One of the first things that Amy and I bonded over was our mutual appreciation of good food — note that this does not necessarily mean well made or fancy food, but just as often can mean junk or fast food that we both have a soft spot for — and perhaps an unhealthy obsession with watching cooking shows (human beings were not meant to watch entire seasons of Holiday Baking Championship in 36 hours). When we travel, our itineraries are centered almost exclusively around food, and though we’ve yet to have our own at-home Chopped challenge, we sometimes go to ridiculous lengths to make just one dish. After every meal we cook, we discuss what we liked about the food and what we plan to do better with its preparation the next time we make it (or how we’re going to alter the recipe).
All this to say, we really like food, and I am incapable of not making lists. So, here’s another list of some of Amy’s food-based cards and how much I like the card based on either her design or how much I like the actual food.
NOTE: I wanted to be objective in my ratings of the cards and the food depicted on them. I think all of these cards are great, but reading a list of “10/10 Amazing!” would end up being redundant. Do expect some rebuttal from Amy in the coming days.
Editor's note: I won't bore you guys with an official rebuttal post, but I will admit that I already compromised Joe's journalistic integrity by guilting him into raising the "Thick and Thin" score from its original 5.4/10 rating. FIVE. POINT. FOUR. All it took was pointing out that the thickest crust was modeled after his beloved Pizza Hut pan pizzas.
SORRY I FOCACCIA BIRTHDAY CARD 7.4/10
The bread itself looks great, but points are knocked off because the tomatoes would get dried out in the baking process.
TOO HOT TO CANDLE BIRTHDAY CARD 6.2/10
The cake looks whimsical and celebratory for the card. But in real life, I like frosting and need more than is on that cake.
JAM-PACKED WITH LOVE BIRTHDAY CARD 7.1/10
This card always makes me crave my favorite childhood snack of toast with strawberry jelly. However, this card’s toast does not have my required amount of jelly. Let's be real — those corners are going to be dry.
NUGGETS OF WISDOM THANKS CARD 8.6/10
Extra points for there being 12 nuggets on the card itself—just like when you go to McDonald’s late at night and get that one worker who doesn’t care about corporate’s profits and bequeaths extra nuggets to you. But some points are taken off because there isn't BBQ sauce included among the sauce packets.
MADE PHO EACH OTHER WEDDING CARD 9.5/10
This may be one of Amy’s best illustrations, food or otherwise, in my opinion. But I’m not a huge fan of jalapeños, so points have to be deducted.
Editor's note: Pho is SUPPOSED to come with jalapeños. I will die on this hill and therefore I do not accept the 0.5 point deduction. 10/10 card.
CREAM OF THE CROP CONGRATS CARD 8.8/10
A chocolate/vanilla swirl cone is an underrated ice cream option. Extra points for there being a wide opening on that cone, so you don’t risk your ice cream tilting and falling over on you.
BUNDLE OF CHOY NEW BABY CARD 10/10
No notes, just a great illustration of a superior veggie.
THICK AND THIN FRIENDSHIP CARD 8.9/10
I love pizza. My mother used to work at a convenience store that also made pizzas. One night, my dad visited her at work with little infant-me, and ultimately she ended up using a pizza box to change my diaper in.
Top pizza - good toppings options, and the basil helps balance the fatty spice of the pepperoni. (In our family, Raffy and I are the Pepperoni Pals, a title he earned after trying to eat a stick of the stuff out of a fallen trash can. Amy is the self-appointed Pepperoni Police.)
Middle pizza - best looking slice, some structure but not overly doughy. Awful toppings, however. Black olives shouldn’t be a thing, so those are getting picked off.
Bottom pizza - second post in a row dealing with Pizza Hut: nothing is more satisfying than overeating a Pizza Hut pan pizza, and those personal pan pizzas that they deliver to you in a scorching hot cast iron?
TO MY BUTTER HALF LOVE CARD 8.5/10
I once ate at a Cracker Barrel and witnessed a boy of around 8 or 9 years old sneak gobs of butter into his mouth while his family wasn’t paying attention. I felt myself having an out of body experience because I would do the exact same thing when I was that age.
Points taken off for the butter being unsalted.
BACON ME SMILE ANNIVERSARY CARD 9.7/10
That bacon looks almost real, but just needs another 75-90 seconds in the skillet to get the kind of crisp I want.
LOVE YOU S'MORE ANNIVERSARY CARD 8/10
The illustration is good, but there’s so much marshmallow in between those graham crackers that you just know you’re gonna have a mess on your hands after the first bite.
Also, PSA, if you go to the grocery store and see Tillamook’s limited edition Campfire Peanut Butter Cup, YOU GET THAT ICE CREAM IMMEDIATELY.
I YAM SO THANKFUL THANKSGIVING CARD 8.9/10
Every time I’ve had to pull and package this card, it makes me remember how good a baked sweet potato is, and Amy’s illustration makes me realize how aesthetically pleasing (and appetizing) that combination of purple and orange can be.
