* A note: I kept this write-up a little shorter than last time, but you can DOWNLOAD THE RECIPE for the most succinct version of the instructions.
What did I tell you? I told you CM Punk or Cody Rhodes were going to win the Rumble, didn’t I? (Receipts.) Pretty much everyone knew what to expect*, but you know what was unexpected? How about the Lions’ improbable run to the NFC title game? Who expected that back in September?
*Note: Amy did not know what to expect, and neither did anyone who isn't a wrestling fan, Joe.
Sadly, as with the WWE, the NFL also has it’s scriptwriters — and they’ve decided that we all have to suffer through another week of football involving the San Francisco 49ers and the Kansas City Chiefs. If you’re like us, and you’re 100%, unequivocally (unequivocably?), just absolutely exhausted by the Brock Purdy MVP-, Mahomes is GOAT-, and Kelce-Swift-discourses, then we’ve got a fusion-y (and unnecessarily decadent) nacho recipe for you to focus your energy on this Super Bowl Sunday. Between the preparing, cooking, and eating (and watching the true MVPs, the commercials!), you'll barely have to pay attention to the game.
The recipe is a play on carne asada nachos that you can find at almost any and every restaurant in America nowadays, it seems. Our version uses a few Asian ingredients — soy and fish sauces for the marinade, miso and Chinese five spice for the cheese sauce — that bring a little flair to the dish. Amy and I will preach about the joys and wonders of MisoHeat for days. We use it in almost every meal that calls for a sauce, because it adds a nice level of heat as well as a subtle, almost cheesy flavor to the dish. Perfect for a homemade nacho sauce!
We’ve only given you the recipe for the steak and the sauce because we don’t want to be *An-nacho Fascists* about what nachos should look like.
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Nacho Man Randy Savage
For the steak —
1 lb flank steak
1 Mexican lager
4 dried Pasilla chili peppers
2 limes
1 white onion
4 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp oil
1 Tbsp dark soy sauce
1 tsp fish sauce
½ tsp salt
½ tsp black pepper
1 Tbsp butter
Fill a bowl with hot water and place the dried Pasilla peppers in the bowl, letting them soak for at least twenty minutes, or until softened. Once they're soft, reserve the water, then remove the stems and the seeds and put the peppers in your blender. Set aside for now.
While the peppers are soaking, roast or grill the onions, garlic, and lime until slightly charred. Transfer the onion and garlic to the same blender as the peppers, adding in the lime juice and fish sauce. Add a pinch of salt and a few grinds of pepper, then blend until mixture is mostly smooth. Transfer into a large bowl or plastic bag.
Mix the pepper mixture, oil, and half of the lager together with a tablespoon of dark soy sauce (lighter soy is fine, but using a dark or mushroom-based soy sauce will add a richer flavor and darker color to the meat). Marinate the flank steak for at least an hour, but no more than four.
Grill or pan fry the steak on medium-high heat for 4-6 minutes on each side, depending on the thickness of the steak and the temperature of your stove. Reduce heat to medium, add a tablespoon of butter, and cook again on each side for about 90 seconds.
Pull steak from the heat and allow it to rest for at least ten minutes. When cutting, remember to cut flank steak against the grain — a flank is just a section of long strands of muscles, so cutting against them and creating small chunks of meat connected by fat are what allow this piece to be more tender and pull apart.
For the cheese sauce —
2 tbsp butter (unsalted)
2 tbsp flour
1-2 tbsp of MisoHeat miso paste
1 cup of almond milk
1 cup shredded Oaxaca or Monterey Jack cheese
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp onion powder
2 tsp Chinese Five Spice (or some mixture of ginger, cinnamon, clove)
½ tsp salt
1 tsp black pepper
Melt two tablespoons of butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Once melted, slowly add in flour until it has soaked up all of the butter and cook for three minutes. Add in MisoHeat with your spice tolerance in mind — regular red miso paste will work if you do not want any spice in your cheese sauce. Cook for another 2-3 minutes. Add your milk, whisking the mixture the whole time and incorporating the flour-butter mixture with the milk. Cook until the liquid has thickened (it should coat the back of a spoon). Mix in the spices, then add in the cheese and stir until the mixture is smooth.
Assembly —
They’re nachos. I’m not going to tell you how to make your nachos. You’ve seen nachos before. You know what nachos look like. Make your nachos how you want to make your nachos. Do you want tomato and lettuce on them? Go for it. Want black olives and jalapeño slices on top of it? You do you. Want to cook down some leeks in a butter sauce and add those on top? Sounds delicious, and if we had more time, we definitely would have done that.
Alternatively, don’t even make nachos — just dip your slices of meat into the cheese sauce and enjoy it that way! The Niners are playing the Chiefs and the world is right back to the way it was when these teams last met in the Super Bowl in February of 2020 (remember that?), so enjoy yourself the best way you know how.
