Every year, we spend January 1st - 10th(ish) forgetting which year we’re actually in — how often did I write a “22” instead of a “23” at the end of dates to start this year off? Well, only twice, but it was the only two times I’ve had to write down the date so far. O-fer for the year. Immediately from there, though, we wonder how it is that February is only a few days away. And with that, the anticipation and anxiety that Valentine’s is to shortly follow…

If you’re like us, the thought of being too transparent about your emotions for your significant other can be a frightening concept—sure, they love me, they said as much, but do they like like me? So for those of you who want to express your feelings this Valentine’s Day, but don’t quite know the right thing to say, here's a selection of puns that you could write in some of Amy’s fantastic love (and friendship) cards.

Photo of punny Valentine's Day cards by Amy Zhang

It Was You All Oolong

You’re my sweet-tea

A love like ours runs steep


Long Romantic Scrolls

I ducking love you (Y’know, like iPhones…)

So happy I swiped right (This one works best if you both met on a dating app, otherwise it might be confusing — I don’t know why you’d write this one if you didn’t meet on a dating app, honestly, but more power to you.)

So happy I didn’t swipe left (This one is similar to above, but with a more nefarious subliminal context that keeps your significant other on their toes; if you get this card, maybe reconsider the relationship.)

Sweet Tarts

jk ✌️

Happy Valentine’s Day. Love You. (This is if you didn’t actually read the outside of the card, and/or you are a grandfather.)


To My Butter Half

You make my heart melt  (Y’know, like butter…)

I churn-ish your love


Let's Be Friends with Benedicts

You can cut the eggs-ual tension with a knife


Tall Dark + Handsome

You’re my strong cup of Joe (This is intended for recipients named Joe.)

I always java great time with you (Not name-specific.)


    Sealed with a Quiche

    I’m glad I found someone with all the same quiche interests

    Sometimes you have to break a few eggs (This is for that relationship where all your friends have nothing good to say about the other person when you’re “on a break,” but you still get back together after a few weeks, even though you’ve been “on again, off again” for three years now, and you know you should move on but there’s just “something about them” that keeps you sticking around, but honestly, [name redacted], it’s just time to move on.)


      You’re a Dill-ight

      So pickled to be with you

      A love like ours is Vlassic


        I’ve Got Fillings for You

        You popped into my life at just the right time

        You’re the cinnamon to my brown sugar (Because it’s the best flavor. Strawberry and blueberry are acceptable. Wild Berry is only for when you want to feel like a kid again. Any other answers are wrong and you have a child’s palate.)


          Me Goose-tas

          I ducking love you (Y’know, like iPhones…)

          Honka honka (Just… know your audience with this one.)

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